Choosing Trouble

“The secret to fulfillment is ”to choose trouble for oneself in the direction of what one would like to become.“ This is a quote from Winifred Gallagher’s book Rapt of the psychologist Nicholas Hobbs.

I love the phrase “choose trouble.” It doesn’t sugarcoat the process of becoming with imagery of passion, love, or joy. Becoming something other than what we are today may be unpleasant, uncomfortable, or even, at times, misery-inducing. But perhaps it will only be boring, or take longer than we’d like. It’s important here that the key word is trouble: not anguish, suffering, torture. We may experience discomfort, but it’s unlikely that we’ll die along the way.

Trouble is a codeword for the process of becoming. It is a process, and there is no guarantee that you’ll be able to complete it. You can aim in a particular direction, but you may not get there. You may stop along the way- due to insurmountable roadblocks, or because a turn in the road looks appealing. If the road branches, which route will you choose? Does it matter? You may not know until you get there.

You also may not enjoy the process, which leads to a key question: do I not enjoy it because it is new and I am uncomfortable not being an expert? Or do I not enjoy it and that means I should rethink my idea of what I’d like to become?

Choosing trouble is a choice regarding what types of problems we’d like to solve. We are essentially saying “I’d like to become a person who knows how to do this sort of thing or who is undeterred by this kind of issue.” What kind of problems do we want to build expertise in?

I have spent many years solving particular problems at work, but they don’t represent all the things I want to become. I’ll spend my time here choosing different trouble, in the hope of becoming something more.