Restarting – What Didn’t Work

Looking back at the first five months of the year, what didn’t work?

One of my goals when taking the classes was to engage and to find community— unfortunately, none of the classes led directly to finding a new community. All of the literature classes I took were online, which is super convenient, but not a great way to meet people. I found myself frustrated with how some of the technology was managed, and am going to be a lot more selective about what I’ll sign up to do online. This is also just reflective of what I mentioned in the prior post— I’m ready to direct my own energy. I found myself itching to read certain books, but not having time to do it because my reading time was already committed to the classes. That doesn’t feel like the right way to nurture my own intellectual growth and activity.

The yoga toxicity book club is part of why I’ve shifted more toward solidcore— while I did like the teachers who led that specific class, and the people who attended the course also seemed great, it really brought up more questions for me about why or how I should be engaging in that community and tradition. I’m not sure of the answers right now, but it seems best to focus on fitness in a setting that is less potentially problematic. I will probably explore more about what I learned, and need to still learn, here at a later date.

The other thing that only sort of worked was the not-shopping choice. On the one hand, it did last a while— I’d say through April, I didn’t buy much. But I made up for it in May, when spring weather led me to do a bunch of online shopping. I’m really happy with the things I added to my wardrobe, but it’s definitely more than I need in an strict sense of the word.

There was also at least a little re-organizing that happened, but I do think I’ve gotten better at limiting that as an all-encompassing activity. It’s much more likely to be something I do with ‘extra’ time, right before we leave for an appointment, or while I’m on a large conference call at work.

Lastly, why did posting here not happen? I’m not 100% sure— partially it was that it is such a new and different activity. I’m not used to sharing much publicly; I’ve never participated in social media in a meaningful way. I’m also not 100% sure what I want to share, what formats, what topics, etc. But I think I’ve realized that if I don’t start, I won’t figure out what works and what doesn’t. I’ve started working through the exercises in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way as a method to better understand what is holding me back, and learn what works for me.

So far this year, a lot of learning about what works, what doesn’t, and how to keep growing.