Failing Forward

A while ago, I listened to Lex Fridman’s interview with Mark Zuckerberg from June 8, 2023. Mark Zuckerberg claimed that he is very willing to fail at things when he is trying something new, and stated that this is crucial to the ability to do new things. Most people, he claimed, like building expertise, and once they have done so, they are trapped by the expertise they have built, and unable to do anything new.

I’m excited looking at this now, because I think I’ve finally found a way that I’m comfortable failing! Sewing has been a fascinating new hobby to pick up because I can tell when I’m doing it “wrong” or at least, not “well,” but the finished product still ends up looking great! And that, to me, is a win.

I’m hopeful that learning this, feeling this, that failure is not fatal, that I can do things very imperfectly and still come out ok in the end, will help me to take more risks in the rest of life.

One thing that I can’t really understand is why this is working for sewing (at least for now, let’s not jinx it!) when it didn’t work for yoga teaching, for drawing/painting, for singing, or, honestly, for writing. I think one crucial piece is that for sewing, I don’t have to let anyone else see the failures, the messy stitches. They end up inside the clothing, invisible. For these other activities, there’s something inherently performative that means that others will witness and potentially judge me and my work.

Am I being pollyannish about this? Maybe. Certainly clothing designers and those more educated in fashion will be judging anything I make. But, again, I don’t have to show them the messy interior. And I don’t have to tell them I made the clothing. It’s not obvious that it is a performance at all. Maybe that’s the best part? Wearing clothing isn’t exceptional— it isn’t an obvious way of calling attention to myself. It’s a thing that must be done, and that I’m just choosing to do in my own way.